Escaping Domestic Abuse

Little did i know that back in October 2001 my family life would change completely. I knew it had been on the cards for sometime, but wasn't expecting it to happen the way it did.

My husband (now my ex), father to my four children, was a monster, (thou to everyone else a charmer), on the outside was nice as pie to everyone and people thought he was a good person. But once the door closed, on the inside he was a devil in disguise, actually that could be wrong, because i think the devil behaved better than he did.

Many things happened over the years, and I never thought what i was going through was abuse, i was always trying to protect my kids, not myself cos i didn't care what happened to me. But i did the children, and when he lashed out at my son, i just about had enough. That's the time i called the police, and only then i broke down, and the officer explained that for 15 years i had been living with an abuser, someone who likes to gain control over you,  bully you,  isolate you from your friends,  control your money,  slaps you,  (he always slapped me round the head, as he said "at least no one will see the bruises", threaten the children,  held me hostage, threatened me with knives, strangle me, make me do things against my will, raped me, buggered me, he even used the pet dog on me a few times, made me watch porn,  lose his temper if his tea got cold, threw his dinner if it wasn't the way he wanted.

I never left because i was far too frightened. I never told anyone, that day until the police officer arrived.
It was then he told me i had to get myself and my children out of the house.

So i had a meeting with police a couple of days after at their police protection unit and we came up with a plan. If i could get him away from the house for a few days then i could get out safely.

I phoned his ex wife and managed to persuade her to have him there for a few days, my excuse was that we needed a break from each other, he was quite happy too, as he got to see his much older children.
Then that was it.  As soon as i knew he had arrived to his ex-wife )320 mile away, i gathered the children, and left in just our clothes. I ended up at mum's, rang the police and they arranged the following day for me to go into a refuge.

Thank heavens i did, or i wouldn't be here today writing this story.  I had to give up all my friends, the children theirs. And start a new life, i couldn't contact my family either for a while, as he threatened them too. I didn't realise just how much our lives were in danger until we left.

He doesn't know where i live to this day, the children are not allowed any contact whatsover by ruling of the courts and social services.

If it had not of been for the police and the refuge, there may have been no escape.
But i urge anyone who is going through similar, there is help out there. If you want someone to talk too about it, then please contact me. or on twitter @therealnicebrit

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